Angie Faith to join me because I always dig the opportunity to sing with another female vocalist/songwriter/musician, and so musically the night was a blast. I love these gigs, the crowd as always has a warm, dynamic, artistic, energy flowing through it and the atmosphere is a pleasure to be immersed in.
I would like to take a moment to make a special thank you to Murielle Fréoa who took all of these gorgeous photos, I could not do this blog without her help, so thank you Murielle for your dedication to helping out the FWC, they are gorgeous shots. You can find her link below~
I've had to think about this post for a while before writing it because this was a powerful movie and there were moments where I found myself crying in the theatre as I watched the film. I can't even draw parallels because her story and mine are nothing alike in almost every way, yet somehow I still found myself mourning for something I've never had and not yet given myself real permission to see.
At the same time I was grateful for what it never cost me, even though it meant missing out on something meaningful that people say is supposed to be precious.
Becoming aware but resisting it, I think I know what is waiting to emerge from within me yet I am afraid, afraid to let anything good happen for fear of losing it all. Being afraid. It does sound so weak doesn't it?. I read these words and I am not even sure I will post them. Most of the time I have no fear, so why would I ever show weakness or engage in self pity when I inherently know it is unattractive and unappealing? Who knows why. Maybe it's to prove that I am unworthy so that I can hold onto my fears and blame them when I fail. Or, maybe someone will see this and see themselves and be grateful, maybe it'll help them to not feel alone. Or, maybe it's a way for me to admit that there is a soft place inside me that just doesn't know anything but is open to everything, and that in itself is the scariest thing of all.....especially without having a safe place to fall. And how do we even know what is safe, is there such a thing? It's all so..... big... isn't it?
I am trying to process and understand a lot of old things lately and it seems as if there is always something of a synchronicity in the way I get asked to do these movie events for they have encouraged me to look where I don't want to, right when I need to. Mothers and Daughters, One Week, Year of the Carnivore all had something that resonated within me and found me walking away thinking. That is the real beauty of the arts don't you think? I love the way a painting, play, sculpture, movie or song can speak to us...or say things for us.
This movie also reminded me that we all find our way in our own way and I can't keep beating myself up for looking to find it, or shouldn't. And in fact, in watching the way some people go about it (like this film suggests), I feel grateful in a way for my instinctive caution for it keeps me safe in body at least, even if not always in spirit. We are all works in progress in any case. Really, I can only be grateful when I look at the big picture for I still feel overly-blessed.
What is so synchronistic about all of this is that while the folks at FWC say they usually try to line up musicians with the films, I have for the last two events been a last minute replacement agreeing to help them out with a weeks notice because the bands they had originally asked could not make the gig. So, it's not as if the event producers decided to ask me to play this one because I am all twisted up about this kind of crap, it was just coincindence, yet, it kinda fits. In any case after each of the last two movie nights I played for, I walked away so ripped up that I just think that I was somehow supposed to see these films. They brought me another perspective, on many perspectives.
There were so many different 'story lines' and 'dives to the depths' in this film that I don't think anyone walked away unaffected. There even appeared to be a moment after the film ended where it felt as if the whole audience collectively sighed and thought "Wow, did I just watch that?" How in the world am I to absorb it all? You can imagine there were a lot of questions for the director Adriana Maggs who logged in on Skype for a conversation with the audience.
For more on the movie, this is taken from the First Weekend Club website;
THAT'S A WRAP
Canada Screens on July 22 witnessed another amazing turnout with a near full house (despite the great summer weather). The evening kicked off with live music by Rachael Chatoor and Angie Faith during the one hour wine reception. Following the screening of the film which received an enthusiastic response, the director Adrianna Maggs joined us by live video Skype for a Q&A with the audience. We are already looking forward to our next Canada Screens August 19.
****OFFICIAL SELECTION SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL 2010****
..."A performance that leads ‘Grown Up Movie Star” to be one of the boldest and ballsiest coming of age films in a while and certainly one of best films of the (Sundance) festival." - Alan Bacchus
..."Maslany is magnificent as the worldly Ruby." - Toronto Star
..."Grown Up Movie Star’ sends a grenade into the coming-of-age subgenre of cinema." - Daily Film Dose
..."It all comes together so dazzlingly....A tight package that never feels weighed down by its themes." - Susan G. Cole, NOW Toronto
On July 22nd, First Weekend Club will bring you the Canadian Film that turned Sundance upside down, "Grown Up Movie Star".
This festival-haunting hit has won (or broken) the hearts of critics and reviewers, and thrown the dramatic coming-of-age genre upside down with a one-two punch of hard to face themes of family, sexuality and homosexuality, intermingled with snappy dialogue and the all too real beauty of teenage angst. But this is no case of a tragedy-overloaded Canadian film; levity and pacing is provided by the kind of comedy and dialogue that could only come from our far eastern province, or what Newfoundlanders like to call, "The Rock". This film is raw. It is gritty and is an unapologetically close and personal look at coming of age. Simply put, this film has blown away festival indie audiences and we are thrilled to bring something of this calibre to Canada Screens as our July red carpet event, and to use the event to premiere it as our DVD Club pick, with an online interactive component.
"Grown Up Movie Star", shot in Newfoundland and directed and written by Adriana Maggs, is a riveting tale of confused love, family and discovery of identity. This coming of age film is relevant to many ages due to the poignant, multi-layered and absolutely grounded portrayal of characters by a cast which features Shawn Doyle, Tatiana Maslany, Jonny Harris, Mark O'Brien, Andy Jones, Julia Kennedy and Sherry White. And a cameo by Canadian comedy and Maritime icon, Mary Walsh.
So watch for it, watch it, and please do support great Canadian filmmaking by checking in often with First Weekend Club to see what they are screening. Many thanks again to Murielle Fréoa for all the wonderful photographs, and to Paul Armstrong and Anita Adams and all the people at First Weekend Club who make all of this happen. I am proud to be a part of it.